It’s supposedly the middle of the cold season here in our part of the world and this particular night feels like noon on a summer. I was trying my best to sleep comfortably and the power went out all of a sudden. I glanced out the window and the whole block has no power. Now, there’s literally no wind brushing against my skin. Perfect, just plain perfect.

It’s OK, I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, not with all these memories rushing back to my head. Just an hour before, I watched an episode of Dawson’s Creek that is a little too close to my heart. The one where Joey and Pacey got together and decided to keep it from Dawson for a while. When they finally got the courage to tell him, they were surprised that Dawson already knows.

“Is this punishment, are you punishing me?”
“I’m not gonna be there to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart. This ruins everything! There’s no going back.”
“Okay. What do you want me to say? Tell me what you want me to say, what do you wanna hear?”

When these lines were said, it all went back. Every little detail, when I was on the same situation. I asked myself that if I have done things differently, would it still end up the way it did?

“…are gonna stay friends or whatever it is that they are. And you’re gonna end up alone. Alright?”

I did. And I couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t care less about them, they’re barely, not at all even, in my radar. I’m happy now the way things are–I’m about to finish my degree, my dreams are kinda coming true and I realized my true self not to mention, all the lessons that I have learned will be with me forever. I just hope that I never make the same mistakes again.

Are you a fan of talk radio? Me neither. But there’s something about podcasts that got me hooked. Maybe because you can listen to it whenever you want and best of all they’re free. What? You’re not listening to podcasts? Go out of that cave you’re hiding and download iTunes and start subscribing. You don’t even have to have an iPod to listen to them–they’ll work fine played over your computer’s speakers.

My morning commute is always accompanied by CNet’s Buzz Out Loud. It’s a tech news so you think it’s gonna be boring, right? Hell no. I find myself chuckliing at some of their jokes and being engrossed in their lively conversations. I have to blame them for missing my stop at the MRT several times.

During lunch break, the walk from the office to wherever I’ll be eating is made short by listening to LSAT: Logic in Everyday Life. Each episode, Andrew Brody deconstruct a current event by applying the logic used in the LSAT. It will totally alter your way of viewing things after listening to several episodes. And hey, it helped me a lot when I took a test at school that the guidance office made us take.

If I need to take a break from programming during the sleepy hour in the afternoon, I listen to either Ebert & Roeper movie reviews, MacCast or Putanginamo!com Show. All excellent shows in their respective categories.

When I get home, I immediately hook up my mac to the TV, run Front Row and watch ABC World News. If you’re fond of watching TV Patrol, it’s NOT news. It’s like a reality show where they show a mugger being slapped and punched by the victim. ABC World News tackles world news on the first 10 minutes and shows some interesting segments towards the end.

My favorite of them all is probably diggnation. What’s not to like? It’s funny, informative and entertaining. Heck, I even grab some cold beers while watching the videocast–watch it and you’ll know why.

Some more on my list:
-French for Beginners (Je m’appelle Mark.)
-Student Pilot Training Podcast (might be useful for me in the future!)
-MacBreak (for mac geeks)
-Hope is Emo (what? you don’t like this podcast! You’re so hurtful!)
-this WEEK in TECH (for those who miss the good ‘ol days of TechTV)

There’s a monster inside of me that needs to be fed every freakin’ minute. That’s why I will probably gain a gajillion pounds by the end of the year. Whenever I’m at home I feel that I need to be munching something, a donut, a sandwich or whatever. A couple of months ago, it was OK, I work out three times a week so there’s balance. I had to quit gym because I need to be a bit practical and the membership there is way too expensive, not to mention they exemplify business evilness. Everyone around me is saying that I should just enroll on those pay-as-you go, small cramped, corner of the street gym but ewwwww?

Pardon my mindless griping, It’s just that my stomach is really full after raiding the refrigirator all day. I just need to somehow voice it out so I wouldn’t feel that guilty. So far, it’s not working. I wish I’m one of those guys who eat boatloads of crap everyday and still maintain their body weight.

I can hear the loud sound coming from the TV over at my parents’ room. A local TV show is “dramatizing” the life of the one-million peso winner of the Philippines’ version of Deal or No Deal. We usually have that show on the background during dinner and almost every time I get into an argument with my dad on when’s the right time to deal or not.

See, that’s when I realize how different am I with my father. He always shouts at the TV whenever a contestant turns down an offer worth more than a hundred grand. He always say that the attitude of wanting more only leaves you with nothing. I then would reply that it wasn’t yours in the first place, would it be so bad to take the risk? It’s like investing in the stock market or venturing into a new business. The possibility of failing might be high but a risky decision could possibly turn you into a millionaire.

Suddenly it all dawned on me, that’s what he’s been doing all his life. Always on the safe side. He has been working for the same company for over a decade, without any sort of step up the career ladder. I’m still a lousy driver now just because he’s not willing to risk the possibility of having his car scratched. I’m not saying he’s a bad father…I’m just saying I finally get him.

Taking risks, something that I should do more often. So what if I fail? Just chalk it up to one of life’s lesson and try not to make the same mistake again.

It might not be next year but I’m still enrolling myself to pilot school. It’s just that it’s going to be hard now since I’m going to save the money myself. I am not going to give up on that dream. Not ever.

I’m getting really worried. It’s no secret that this term will be my last term and I’ll be finally out of college after being delayed for more than a year. My dad knows that when I ask him for tuition money next week then it will be the last and he does not need to worry about it ever again. My mom is already browsing for cheap plane tickets because our plan is to spend a couple of months in San Francisco to take a break after I’m done with school. How about me? Well, every morning after I brush my teeth I practice the smile that I’m gonna make for my yearbook picture in front of the bathroom mirror.

What if I fail a subject? That means another 3 months of school. My parents will so get disappointed. It’s just that I’m really worried on my Quality course, I failed a couple of quizzes on that (only one more to go) and my proffessor always warns us that he really does fail underperforming students. No exceptions. It’s not that I’m not studying, I really do, I’m not just good with memorizing stuffs and concepts. Who else gets a 1.25 grade for a lab class and a failing 5.0 for the lecture class of the same subject on the same term? Really weird.

What’s with the obsession about graduation? I just really want to graduate badly because in the past year I thought that I wouldn’t. When I took that job, all the people around me were saying that I would drop-out of school because I’ll be enjoying earning my own money (and I really did get a lot for my level). Proved them all wrong, didn’t I?