Living in the past, that’s what I have been doing for years now. I keep looking back on the things that happened in the past year, how it affected me in countless ways. I can’t sleep as I think about the events leading to where I am right now. if only I could change even just one, how different would my life be.

Change is something that I could attest to. If ever someone would write a book or make a movie about my life, they will most likely skip over the first 18 years as it is completely boring. Simple, as others would call it. Back then, my problems consists of not getting good grades and failing to watch an episode of a TV series. Now, everything is completely different. I have experienced happiness I never thought I would but I have also sank so low that I actually considered wrapping a rope around my neck. I know, completely stupid.

Going back, I keep thinking of that day when I made a decision about something. It is a very small decision but it made big implications on my life, making me the drama king I am right now. Given a chance, would I change that decision if it means I would experience momentary or lasting happiness? –Not in a heartbeat. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t know the meaning of betrayal or depression. I wouldn’t know that promises are meant to be broken and dreams never do come true. I wouldn’t know what songs are saying or what poems are telling. I wouldn’t have met someone I can call my best friend and actually mean it.

Hmmm…I never realized I’m sorta like Seth Cohen